Upon leaving my last job, I am sure that all my weaknesses and flat sides that had not already been obvious were exposed. That is how the cycle of leadership works. God is gracious to use a healthy rotation of leadership so that teams and organizations do not get stuck with the same blindspots as their leaders.
Yes, it is uncomfortable to sit in a senior leadership position where you are under constant scrutiny before, during, and after you occupy the role. But, this comes with the territory. You can either resist or embrace it. One path leads to destruction and the other to health.
Expect your weaknesses to be visible and known.
Unfortunately, there are many fakers out there. They ride the wave of charisma without a lot of depth to fall back on. With a thin sense of security under the surface, they receive praise for being good leaders, fearing the day that they don’t. Their house of cards is flimsy with leadership energy constantly used to maintain the delicate balance of perception and performance.
It hurts any cause when we calibrate our leadership expectations to this model. We would be better off looking weak than to feel compelled to conceal our vulnerabilities to be strong. After all, Christ is made perfect in our weaknesses. Christ can work with that. Hiddenness that leads to shame is not Christ’s domain. We know whose it is.
Resist the temptation to spend your energies hiding your weaknesses.
Even as we expose our weaknesses we have to be careful not to exploit them or the people around us because of them. If you want to be a good, potentially great, leader I will share with you what made my leadership worth anything at all. It is simple, yet unexpected. I had at least one person on my team who would never tell me what I wanted to hear. Her insight was spot on and she always told me the inconvenient truth. I knew she was watching me and would not tolerate just a little fudging on integrity.
This is highly inconvenient. The external trials of leadership combined with the internal insecurities that arise tempt us to line up “yes-men” around us. But that instinct is dangerous and foolish.
Receive truth-tellers, forgo yes-men.
You are better off having someone on your team who refuses to let you get away with anything and does not turn a blind eye to your inconsistencies or missteps. You need someone outside of your peer friendships or spouse to hold you accountable. Someone who will not err on the side of giving you the “benefit of the doubt,” but will give you holy interrogation. Someone who will not “believe the best about you,” but will make you aware of your sin disguised as good deeds. All because they want to protect you and your ministry from the worst.
It will be a pain in your neck, slow things down, and cause anxiety to know you have to hear hard things. The alternative is that once you have someone (or heaven forbid a whole group of people) making accommodations for your blindspots without letting you know, you are in both leadership and spiritual trouble.
Invite and appreciate a team member who is unafraid to shed light on your blind spots.
Whenever I tell people that it is possible to have integrity in a complex, high-level position of Christian leadership, they seem skeptical. It is a unicorn most have not seen. Likely this is because we are taught to make excuses and accommodations for ourselves and the leaders around us. We call this grace, but it is really no grace for anyone in the long run. Rather it is the kind of thing that damages and destroys all of us.
The greatest grace that I had in my senior leadership role was one colleague who I was close to before my promotion. She would not let our prior relationship create a slippery slope for my integrity and values. She let me know out of the gate that friendship was not going to give me a pass. Any time you make a leap up the ladder, the temptation to make excuses because your job is harder and onlookers do not understand what you are going through is looming.
Get yourself a team member who will not let you off the hook, always demand that you show up in alignment with your values, and call you out if you slip. If you do not have this person, get them on your team right away. Empower your employees this way and resist punishing them for the inconvenience and ego bruising it causes. Make sure they have some real power to evaluate you to a boss or board so that there is a real consequence for your failures and inconsistencies. Resist the temptation to choose a peer who will scratch your back if you scratch theirs.
Receive hard truth as grace.
I can predict the quality and fruit of your ministry today based on whether you open doors for truth tellers.
Today I want to thank my dear friend and colleague who gave me the holy inconvenience of accountability and truth-telling. I believe it saved my leadership. Your presence and your insistence on high standards was a grace that keeps on giving in my life.
PAINTED BY B. WEST F. R. A. ENGRAVED BY S. SANGSTER.
