The world is a hard place. It seems especially so these days.

Last month, I turned 46. I was determined to make my 40s a strong decade, but, so far, it has been more of a survival decade. It must be the case that each person goes through phases like this sooner or later. I had a pretty easy life in all the decades prior, so I guess my time was due.

I can only hope I’m laying the foundation for the next 4 decades, especially because I keep hearing that the lowest year for happiness is 47. I haven’t even hit the bottom yet!

But if every day is a little bit of a fight to find some goodness, here is what I’ve found works:

1. Evening walks with a friend, especially in horribly hot So Cal summers
2. Any time you can get to a beach and lay eyes on water
3. Any time you can be in weather in the 70s
4. Bookstores
5. Handmade/artisinal ice cream or custard
6. Visitors – family, old friends, colleagues. We take them all
7. Patio lights
8. MySGV passport
9. Working on your proof of Canadian citizenship with your extended family, thanks to Bill C-3
10. Reunions
11. College visits
12. Road trips
13. Cute dogs
14. Excellent A/C
15. Book clubs
16. Foam rollers and streching
17. Routines
18. Weighted blankets
19. Sierra Madre, CA – cute town that always feels quaint and homey
20. The Gamble House gift shop
21. Streets with any kind of tree canopy
22. Hotels when you aren’t staying on business
23. Conferences and trainings you chose to attend
24. Watching your spouse host a Taiwanese cook-off (and tasting the food)
25. Watching your kids grow up and become friends
26. Watching your friend become an artist and release a vinyl at a brilliant live performance
27. Taking your daughter and her friend to Comicon at the invitation of old friends
28. Being in San Diego, CA.
29. Taking estradiol and progesterone so you can sleep and feel normal again.
30. Making your way back to your 30s weight slowly and sustainably.
31. Watching your nephew’s weekly videos that he creates for his private YouTube channel.
32. Upgrading to AirPods Pro and realizing how overstimulating noises are for you.
33. Investing in the next generation of mothers with young kids.
34. Praying with people who let you into some of their biggest struggles.
35. Seeing your friend’s book launch into the world.
36. Reading that beautiful book your friend worked on for over a decade!
37. Attending a Creative Writing class at your new church with friends.
38. Attempting to join the prayer ministry at your new church.
39. Writing with your new Montblanc calligraphy pen, your husband found you on Facebook Marketplace after years of giving up calligraphy.
40. Noticing that you are lonely in some common adult ways, but you are cared for by a circle of people who feel like your people, even if they don’t make up one group.
41. Staying on top of your health and lowering your A1C and cholesterol despite doctors telling you it wouldn’t be possible.
42. Getting asked to preach at new places.
43. New doors you didn’t plan for that answer some prayers.
44. Girasol Cochina Mexicana
45. Getting through phase 1 of building All Gen from scratch.
46. Learning to silence the nasty voices in your head.

I’m coming for you 47!